I’ve learned a few things about the way a woman “works”. But mainly two are deeply stuck in my head, for the last week – women deeply apreciate you for being constantly there, trustworthy, honest and open – time – weeks, months, years; women want you (and need you) to be determined – knowing what you want and fighting for that. Especially for them, their affection, their love. It’s the second fight of your life, as a man, right after the pursuit of God. In a meassure, i know what these mean and what’s their importance.

But winter makes me so sentimental – it just recreates silence around me…strange and pleasant in the same time. I’m becoming so melancholic – reliving memories, constantly thinking of summer, the good days…the parts i acted like such a fool. A madman. Then i start to remember sms’s i wrote. Notes. Photos. My hands on whatever. Just holding on so tight.

The truth is I remember the day i had a pink ipod, a sony camera, and went to work at the tv station 5 km out of town. The smell, the cold late autumn air, the cars passing by… Then reintering the city. Time was not so abrupt. There was no weights attached to it, falling on my shoulders, back then. There are shadows of time passed by now…on my eyes that start to cry without any reason…on my hands that don’t have nothing to hold on to.

It’s not that I am growing tired: i feel my body has more energy then ever, and isn’t afraid to use. My mind and memory are intact. Maybe i’ve grown wiser cause I am starting to think twice before acting…or talking… Or maybe i am just cautious not to do the same mistakes and make people around me get hurt. Or maybe there is no “maybe”. There is one certainty – Never stop believing. Things will get better. The air will get cleaner. The winter will pass. Until then, i just have to accept my failures, mistakes, accept the past and use to present time to practice peace and love.
Things will get better. Don’t stop believing.

Sounds like : Deas Vail – Birds and Cages (Tell me)